29 Apr 2013
Well, lets see what all has been going on. Mom is still in the nursing home. She is doing better and is able to walk now with a walker and assistance. She has had some health issues while at the nursing home. Itching, sore throat and other things. It's always something. I don't know how much longer she will be there. She has until the end of May 100% paid for by medicare and her insurance. After that, she will be responsible for 80% of the bill. Chris is doing alright I guess. He is wheelchair bound now. He can walk alittle but is very unsteady and I am so afraid he will fall. He goes to the cardiologist May 7th. I'm so anxious to see what the doctor says. Oddly enough, I had a problem last week that I thought was indigestion/heartburn. It lasted quite a while and I was sick at my stomach, had a cold sweat and a headache. It finally calmed down but I kept thinking about it because it wasn't like any heartburn I have ever had. When I went to the doctor for my allergy shot a few days later I told him about it and that I have had a fluttering in my chest sometimes. He had me take an EKG and it showed an abnormality in my heart. He wanted me to go to a cardiologist and said they would probably do a cardiac catheter with dye injected but insurance doesn't cover it so I said no. The doctor told me to do light activity and take it easy. TAKE IT EASY???????????? How in the hell does a person take it easy taking care of someone with alzheimers!?! I gave up red meat for lent and decided to not eat red meat anymore so that is good. I have cut out anything fried and am really watching what I eat. I need to be healthy for Chris to take care of him. Chris' birthday is May 19th and he is turning the big 5o! I want to have a party for him at Casey Jones in Jackson. Hopefully, people will be able to come. Lol the only people we really know here are Jims family. It doesn't matter if it ends up being just me, Jim and Chris....we will make it special. Ofcourse we will go see Mom so he can spend some time with her too. Seems like more stuff has gone on too but I am in a fog. Can't remember and I kind of am in a numb mood right now. Chris asked me today how many kids I had. The questions he asks now are so random. I just answer them and move on. We try to go see Mom twice a week if lucky. She wants us to visit more and wants me to be more involved with everything but I can't. I make sure she gets what she needs and etc... but she has got to tell them when she needs something. She has had someone do everything for her her whole life and I can't do it. I am overloaded as it is. I have gotten really numb regarding her and I feel kinda bad about it but it is what it is. She has finally worn me down. I do what I can and if I can't I tell her I can't. If she's mad, then she's mad. She will have to get over it. Chris and I went to see my mother in law for a couple days. It was great and we had such a good time. I didn't tell Mom we were going because I knew it would become a big deal and she would try to sabotage the trip. Sad but true. have to get Chris ready for bed. My precious boy! In this crazy mixed up world there is one thing that is constant and that is Chris' sweetness. He is always loving and sweet. Love that boy!