20 Aug 2012
Well, alot has gone on since last entry. Jim got extremely dizzy and we had to rush to the doctor. We thought that perhaps he had a stroke (he had one in 2010). I took him to the hospital and he had a ct-scan and the results showed no stroke or blockage; thank you God! However, the dizziness is severe and continues. He is taking medications for this and this morning he said he was starting to feel alittle better. Still dizzy but not as bad as it was. You talk about worried. I was so worried but didn't want him to know just how bad I was worried. My thoughts were racing about what would happen and if something happened to him how I would survive. How could I go on? Jim is my everything. I love him so much and it scares me when he gets sick. I can't lose him. This past weekend was taking care of Jim and taking care of Chris and talking to Mom on the phone to see how she was doing. I'm getting very use to taking care of Chris now and we do have a pretty good routine going on that works but then when Jim gets sick, I realise how overwhelmed I am and how alone I feel. Don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining about caring for them-I love them and without question I would do whatever I had to do to care for the people that I love BUT when they are all in need it's hard. I realise that being a caregiver, especially caring for someone with alzhiemers is very isolating. It's a 24/7 job and it keeps you at home alot and not able to do the things that you use to do. I went to WalMart to get Jims medicine saturday and left him and Chris at home. It was very strange to be at WalMart by myself because it has been ages since I shopped by myself. Did I enjoy it? Yes. I'm not ashamed to say that I really enjoyed being able to shop by myself even though it was just WalMart and a hurried trip so I could get back home. Things are going good today with Jim and Chris and Mom. Just the way I like it. :)