12 Sep 2012
Today has been a terrible day. It started out bad with Chris in fog and so slow this morning and being confused. We had to get up early because Chris had a doctors appt. We got to the doctor and Chris was in a daze. He couldn't hear anything and was just basically lost. the doctor prescribed him some eye drops for his watery red swollen eyes and he checked Chris' circulation in his left leg that hurts him alot. I cried in front of our doctor and I tell you he is the kindest most compassionate man. He's from India and is so gentle and caring and so kind to Chris and Mom. Jim and I really like him too. He is really smart and thorough. A country doctor in a little town in Tennessee from India lol. Chris and I then went and got Mom and went to Lexington and got Chris' medicine and got neccessities and groceries. As usual, it was very trying with my Mom and totally wore me out. After dropping Mom off, Chris and I were heading home and all of a sudden he came out of his funk and was talking and laughing and was the Chris I've always known. My Chris was back. All evening he has been happy and laughing and cheerful. I just tucked him in and he is now sleeping. A very stressful day and I have cried off and on all day. Today it really hit me just how much Chris has changed. Everything; his laughter, his excitement over things-just everything. I talked about it at length with my husband tonight and we talked about how it will reach a time when I might not be able to care for Chris. If he needs medical care that I can't do or something. I know that there will possibly be a time when this happens but I told Jim that I can only take it day by day. As of now, I can handle everything. I will do it as long as I physically can. He will stay with us and when the time comes, I will get a nurse to come in and help. I told Mom it doesn't work for me to take her and Chris shopping. It's too hard. They both are on walkers and I can't keep up with both and Chris is getting to the point that physically he can't do it. I'm going to have to get someone to help Mom. She is not happy about it I'm sure but I told her I can't do it all. I can only do so much and Chris' needs are pressing at this time and Mom is doing pretty good considering so I might have to have someone do her grocery shopping or going to check on her. Who knows; I guess I will find out soon enough. Time for bed; I'm exhausted.