5 Sep 2012
We had a real nice day yesterday at Moms to celebrate her 88th birthday. I made her a lemon cake with lemon frosting and we went and got KFC because she loves it so much. It was good and the cake turned out good. She was happy and I think liked what we got her and enjoyed her day. Jim and I dropped Chris off at her house with the ice cream and cake and we went to get the KFC in the next town. We were gone for about 45 minutes and when we got back Mom said that as soon as we left, Chris told her he had to go to the bathroom and she made him wait. She didn't help him. Needless to say, Chris had wet his pads and shorts. I asked her why she didn't help him and she said "Well, I guess he didn't need to go that bad. I thought you could help him when you got back." Well he did have to go very badly. Come to find out all he needed was help getting his belt undone. I was livid. It made me so damn mad. I didn't say anything but in my mind I was screaming "THIS IS WHY CHRIS CAN'T LIVE WITH YOU. YOU CAN'T TAKE CARE OF HIM!!!!!!!" I really wanted to say something but I thought it's better not to. After all, it's her birthday and that was my gift to her; not getting mad at her and saying something. I have to say though that it took every bit of strength that I had to keep from saying something. If it had been something about me it wouldn't have mattered but it being about Chris upset me. It was just for 45 minutes and she couldn't even help for less than an hour. Now before anyone says anything about well my God she's 88 years old, let me say, yeah she is BUT she has always been this way. Her actions now aren't any different than when we were little kids. So sad. Enough of that. Chris is declining quickly and he doesn't laugh much anymore. That really hurts because Chris has always had a real sharp sense of humor. He has always been a giggily funny guy. Always laughing about something and always making everyone laugh. Somewhere inside him is the Chris I know. How I would give anything for him to come out. I miss him. I know he's there. I also know that sometimes I reach him. I see it in his eyes. My precious precious brother Chris.