10 May 2012
Alot has happened since last post. Sunday evening my throat was still hurting after choking so I told Jim I was going to go lie down. I just get in bed when I hear a huge crash. I jump up and see Jim running into Chris' room. I thought he had fallen. I get in there and Chris is standing over by his bathroom door and the bookcase on top of his dresser is lying partially on the bed and stuff is lying around everywhere. I think that Chris might have lost his balance when he left the bathroom and instead of grabbing the wall or dresser, he pushed againist the bookcase and down it went. How he didn't get hurt God only knows. The next morning Jim left early to go to work and after I saw him off I looked down the hall and saw Chris looking out his window watching Jim drive away. He then looked out down the hall and saw me, I waved at him and he smiled and waved back so I went back to bed and was just dosing off when I hear this blood curdling whail. I run into Chris' room and he's not in bed but has some stuff packed and other things lyhing on the bed. He's standing in his bathroom crying and moaning and I thought he was hurt. He told me everyone has left him and no one cares about him and he's all alone. I hugged him and led him back to his bed. He was so upset and confused. He had gotten himself so upset that he was shaking and crying hard. I sat with him talking to him for a long time. I could tell that he wasn't even focusing on me or who I was. He finally started coming around and then he hugged me and said he was so glad I was there. I laid by him comforting him for a long time talking to him. He was so upset. I tried to reassure him and calm him down. He told me that he prayed to God every day to help him and he was scared. I later cried and cried. My heart broke for my brother. He knows something is going on with his brain but doesn't undertand what it is. He gets so scared and it kills me that I can't take that fear away from him. I'm angry and sad that he has to go through this. What a terrible horrible damn disease this is. Today, while he was eating lunch, he got choked real bad. He had taken way too big a bite and got choked on it. Alzheimer patients have trouble with choking and swallowing. I think Chris just took too big a bite but I realise with all these incidents that I have to watch him every second. You just never know what is going to happen next. However, I was able to take a much much needed nap this afternoon after his doctors appt  which was wonderful. I can't stand sleeping during the day and usually get a bad headache  but no headache and I actually felt refreshed. :) Great news too that Mom has been dismissed from the wound center and we do not have to go to Jackson every wednesday now. It frees up my week now and I am so happy. I am happy for Mom that her leg has healed ofcourse but selfishly am happy that I don't have to drive 130 miles every wednesday. Wild terrible week but it will get better. This weekend Jim, Chris and I are going to Memphis to see Jims Mom and to see our grandson play in his band on Beale St. It's going to be a fun happy weekend.